l'histoire 7 : Cyber and Wave Friends...

sup homies !
end of year is coming soon*sigh*
wish that some talibans would come n hide under the table to look for coins hijack our school so that EOY would never ever come...
i know that my wish is very absurd but it is not as absurd as not burning Qur'ans...

well , talking abt the internet , i must b careful abt what i am abt to write..

who knows that there would be some curly monkeys assaulting me when i insult Saru-kun in my blog..

( not trying to b racist but Saru-kun looks similar to this black shit people in the pic )






so , lets talk abt our main topic..cyber and wave friends !

what are wave friends ?
wave friends are those random ppl who would text u randomly with random context...they might insult u , flirt with u , act nice with u , or even ask u abt ur neighbor's wife..who knows..
anyways , they are nearly extinct now due to the advent of the internet but i guess most of u would have experienced having wave friends around 3-4 years ago...
i had some weird experiences with these creeps but i shall share one of them..

years back , there was this lady, whose name i forgot, texting me..
she told me that she wanted to be my friend and i was like ' huh ?'
she continued to text me and then she started to...call me
as i picked up my cellphone , there was no voice to be heard , only the freakin creepy silence remained..
i hung up and she called back...the process kept repeating until i grew tired and told her to speak if she were to call....she did not talk and she just laughed like a witch...

DUDE....that was not funny ! i dun want to talk or text with a Sadako because it is freakin creepy !
anyways , the creep still texted me for weeks until she voluntarily stopped doing so..

now...talking abt cyber friends !
i bet that almost everyone using the net has at least one cyber friend...
if not , u r even a bigger failure compared to those hikikomori otakus hiding under their futtons or Ah Guan ..
nah , im just joking , seriously...

well , cyber friends are always interesting..
some fellas get married aft knowing one another from the net , some beat the heck out of another just because the poor lad flirts with his mom , and many more..
anyways  , as asians , we do not go to such extreme , do we ?

anyways , i just want to share abt a news i read in regards to cyber 'friends'
there was this girl called ' Nicole Tay' who managed to suck her innocent cyber friends' pockets thru scamming...amazing , right ?

she just reminded me of my uncle's advice abt playing poker games in facebook..
he told me to google search for a hot babe's pic ( preferably big boobs )and put it as ur avatar !
ppl will definitely send u poker chips...have a try..lol

i tired doing once using my cousin's friendster profile and i got a blast of messages and testimonials from random horny bastards saying 'ur hot..add me pwease !' , 'u r sexy..let's webcam and get naked !' , and so on..i hope they did not wank when they saw the pic i put back then...lol

well , back to Nicole Tay !
dont u find it how awesome to flirt around with some dumb apes and get money in return ?
i think the cops cant even do a think abt it..i mean who to catch ? 0.o

this Nicole Tay could be Wang Qipai , Indah Koentoelwati ,Al-Jablay , Erokichi Saru , Olalele Ojaobi , and many more !


get my point ?




Well , that's all folks..
must study now ! haha


-K-

Ouverture : (k)Night and Princess(es)

Day :

' finally , i walked out of that hotel...
that stinky hotel which separated me from my laptop for days..
but nvm...i've reunite with her again  '

Night :

Went to Lot 1 for dinner in a Chinese resto ( its called Wa~something )
it was all great..awesome herbal chicken , marvelous Hong Kong- Portugese style baked curry rice , drink as sweet as Katy Perry in California Gurls MV , and best of all , the cute , silent girl seated on a table behind my pops..

despite not possessing those 'mature' looks which i love to see in a girl , she has that innocent , cute face..
i watched her eat ( im not a maniac ffs..im w8ing for my food anyways ) and i find her interesting because she could just eat and smile while there is this emo-guy ( me ) staring at her in awe..

she did not throw even a quick glance to me despite me watching her for like..3 minutes ?
anyways , thats the cute side of her...others might not notice her because she did not stood much but i do
because i notice too much...i guess she's the 'goddess for the night' for me..

as i walked out of the resto with my family , i realized that there  were actually a lot of interesting girls out there..some looked cute because of their petite build , some are cute because of their eyes are smexy , there was so much to comment and talk abt..

so , is it all because of a sudden increase of cute girls at night ( excluding the hookas) that i was guided to think that way ? i hope so because if it is true , i would love to go out more often at night !

-K-

l'histoire 6 : U,S and A and The Chronicles of Mexicana !

Preamble : Read the post in Borat style to make ur experience wonderful !

Good evening , my pren...
My name a...puih puih puih

Well , I 'm gonna write abt ytd..why so ?  because what happened ytd was simply unforgettable..
Had only 5 hrs of sleep because we were planning to go to the Embassy of the Great U , S, and A..
arrived there at around 8+ and must wait until 10 am to be able to enter the building..funny shit aint it ?
not to mention , there was this otaku who dared to cut my queue . I stared at him for a long time while the effing nerd flipped thru his newspaper as if he was looking for porn on the paper..a haddit for sure !

the security guard scolded all the adults outside the embassy for queueing wrongly..lol ! ( reminds me teachers )..a Chineeeese guy with weird accent tried to stood up for the adults but his hooha English made him froze and stood there like a big elephant dung..security guard 1 , Chinese dung 0 . ( note that im not being racist..ty )

entered the freakin building aft 2 hrs of waiting under the hawt sun and the freakin cold rain which flooded Orchard recently..Went inside just to be scolded by another security officer for asking a qn. She made it seem as if security guards are the rulers while the attendants and the rest of the employees are simply lap dogs WHICH are sent to buy kwetiao and chasiew for them..what is the problem with the U,S and A embassy ?

things were quite okay until i sat near this funny , sluttish lady...she sat near a European who was equally f-ed up like her. I remember she started off her introduction by talking abt sth related to 'marriage'..then , aft a while they started talking abt travel ( the girl was a dupe for not knowing China Eastern Airlines )
Afterwards , things get hotter when the girl asked for the European's contact...uh oh

so , what's so bad abt them ? haha..they were totally stupid and that was terrible ! was being stupid wrong ? not for u but yes for the people sitting next beside u..imagine this (and this really happened ) :

the applicant number of the girl was called and the european's was called as well soon aft that..
the girl told the european 'good luck' and the european said 'yes, thank u..u too.'
lol..so why was it stupid  ? it was stupid because it was not a call for interview , it was just a call for a freakin fingerprint record ! do u need luck just to go to the counter and press ur fingers against the scanner ? well , unless the machine would blew up once u pressed ur fingers against it or that the attendant would chop off ur fingers once u placed ur fingers there , YES u need a good luck..

talking abt fingerprinting , i rmb the same Chinese who stupidly took out all his documents neatly and placed it on the table while all he had to do was freakin put his fingers on his scanner !one word : PHAIL !

afterwards , the European changed seat with the sluttish girl aft the self-made-dramatic fingerprinting . It was supposed to be a YAY ! but the freakin European smelled like some gorilla who was thrown into a shit-hole for weeks..omg ! He stinks but the sluttish girl loved the stinky man ( i guess its due to her fetish )
they soon talk abt chances of meeting up afterward and the girl asked abt the stinky gorilla's address..
apparently , he lived in Tampines while the girl , in my opinion , probably lived in different hotel rooms everyday ..Anyways , they had this talk which would seem to end with ' Can I go to ur hse in Tampines and sleep with u?'

then , the girl made a fatal mistake..hahaha
she talked about PORK and all that while the poor dude just told her that he was fasting..kakakaka
she stunned before asking him whether he had his early breakfast which obviously he would had ..if not, he would end up in the newspaper headlines as 'Dead Gorilla Found in Tampines' instead of a stinking gorilla applying for a visa to U,S,and A..

Thank goodness that me and my bro's number was soon called for interview and the nightmare was over...i silently waved goodbye to the male gorilla and the stupid , sluttish girl..it was 12 in the afternoon...

btw , there was this very cute jie" during my 4 hrs of nightmare..she had a cute voice and she looked like Hebe Tian !uwahhh.. o y , there was also this bearded Indian who I told my brother about because I was so sure that he would get rejected as he looked like a mean terrorist. He did suffer problems and in the end , complained to the noob Chinese's gang..lol

just a reminder , im not trying to b a racist here as im just stating what i saw and experienced in the embassy of the U,S,and A..i repeat , im not a racist , unlike Saru-kun !

went to taka to take a grab before heading back to the boarding school to take my internet modem..
went by taxi again to Sentosa because we would be staying there for the night...
things were very nice , especially during dinner time..

at a Mexicana restaurant , i finally get to drink my first full-alcohol drink , thanks to a noob waitress..
I ordered for a Long Island Iced Tea which was actually made from a mix of Bacardi ( Rum), Smirnoff ( Vodka ) , Beefeater ( Gin ) , Jose Cuervo ( Tequila ) , and lemon...my smart father knew right away that the drink was not alcohol-free and of course , my mum was soon against it..the noob waitress told her that it was just some sort of margarita ( which contains alcohol as well..lol ) which was not alcoholic...
drank the glass of wonder and it tasted great , like iced lemon tea with a shot of alcohol .
my face was soon red and when my parents called the waitress to come and have a look , she innocently showed her stupidity by saying :'huh ? i tot it was supposed to be a coconut falovoured drink?'
i wondered whether stupidity is contagious...

soon , my hands and legs went numb , my body burning hot like a tofu in a frying pan , and my head felt like very light..was not drunk but i was barely able to control..once i hit the hotel room , the light faded away while the inking darkness came over me..

and so , the cute little boy went to a deep slumber for the next 14 hrs...

to be continued...

-K-

l'histoire 5 : Midnight.....cooking dash !

Yo senor and senoritas ! s-ss-ssup!

before i start...please type something on the chatbox T T
i feel like some stupid homo who is left alone...

anyways , as usual , i only have 12 hrs for the day 6/08/10 ...
woke up and had a wonderful homemade teriyaki chicken + egg set with corn soup..
wonder how mom did that...

anyways , fast forward...fooled around wif my toddler , did  2 pieces of homework ( TGI4L - Thank God I've 4 Left ! ) , and had another wonderful meal ( dinner ) with someone dabao-ed hainanese chicken ( no rice ) , powder-fried mushroom ( secret recipe which mom stole from the taiwan trip ) , etc ( forgot ald ) ..

so , having all those wonderful dishes , of course i feel jealous for the cooks..
therefore , i planned to do something , which is cooking !

like those days when i stayed at my aunt's house , i would sneak out of the room to do my unearthly , extraordinary fetish..yes , it's midnight cooking !!! ( not those fetishes which normal boys like , alright         *sfx : AH:* )
well , just an hour ago , i sneaked out my room to do that unorthodox fetish at such an unart off,earthly hour..My dad was ald distracted wif his laptop while my brother didnt give a shit so it was safe to go !

so , the dish i made this midnight was : Kenneth's Special Japanese Currified  Smashed Omelette with Boneless Chicken..
why smashed omelette ? because i cant maintain the shape of the egg when i cook and thus , the egg got smashed up..
why boneless chicken ? because i just took the shred chicken from the pot which the maid i  left..

so , to start off , i would take a bit of my aunt's japanese curry block from the fridge..
was stiff as hell and i hefta use a knife to cut a part of it..
then , i took an egg , some oil , my toddler cousin's small bottle ( lol ) , forl , small frying pan.

actually , i almost used a quill egg as an ingredient but i decided not to. why ? simple...because i ald had a lot of difficulties cracking the big egg perfectly and u expect me to do the same to a quill egg ????? might as well throw the whole thing into the bottle..lol

why ur toddler cousin's bottle ? because i couldnt find a bowl to whisk ( is it called like that ? ) the white and yellow of the egg together..i saw the poor bottle and i took it of course..well , i did make sure that i washed the bottle twice because i dont wanna see the little fella to suffer frm tummy ache because of me..lol

ahem..so lets talk abt the cooking process !

so , i read the instructions abt cooking the curry at its container , summarized all the instructions so that i can understand how to cook it fast and also summarized all the steps because i dont give a shit abt it !

put a bit of the curry powder into water , boil it until its  thick , then transfer the thicken curry sauce from the frying pan to the egg mixture in my cousin's bottle ( gomene~ muahahaha)

then , add oil ,stir-fry the cold chicken ( it was cooked ald actually ) and pour in the curry-egg mixture...scramble it , flip the small pieces of egg ...done..

the smell was wonderful but i got injured while i was cooking...how so ? well , the oil spark jumped to my chest while i was frying the chicken and aahhh ( pain not pleasure ! )
anyways , tried my dish and it was not half bad...could  taste the curry and chicken mixing wif the flavour of the egg...mamamia lezatos ~

washed everything clean and felt contented because i did not fail in cooking..haha
well , i bet some girls these days do not even know how to cook instant noodle or fry a freakin egg !
good thing i learned how to do so even tho the timing was not right...

anyways , the stars are shining beautiful out there and the orchard tower is as lively as always ( i guess ? )
and with that , i shall bid farewell...
my only wish before i go to sleep is that..i do not get tummy ache aft eating my own dish and aft drinking milk tea while i was writing this post !

Cheers !

-K-

l'histoire 4 : The closest place to heaven is never far from jou..jou just need to know

Bonjourn ! ah si !


ssup ppl !
didnt blog yesterday because i was sleepy..lol
anyways , i had a good day ytd but let's not talk abt it since it was 2 days back.

today , i had only 13 hrs to spare as i slept till 11 noon..with all the procrastination on the bed , make it 12 hrs..
well , a lot of fruitful and happy events happened in this short period of time..

had a delicious homemade brunch by auntie + mom and for the first time , drank milk in a wine glass..lol
played wif my naughty toddler cousin who was and is always a big fan of me..
remembered the the time when he just cling to me and wouldnt let me go..haha

anyways , i can assure u he isnt gay because he is too young to even know abt boobies and sexuality..lol
well , today i went to Comex @ Suntec ..A lot of good gadgets to buy but in the end , i bought none..lol
aside from looking at the gadgets , i paid extra attention to the jie"s promoting their products ...

some are cute but then that's all..lol
o y...i went there with my father's father's daughter's son aka my father's cousin's son ( LOL ) who was a P5 brat..i enjoy the time bullying him and putting my bottle on his hoody so that i need not carry anything..hehe

bro and dad bought sth but nvm..i still get to savage their old stuffs..kyakyakya
i'll be having 2 laptops soon ( if thr is no problem )

anyways , slept at the car as usual because i felt sleepy and only woke up when we reached auntie's hdb..
did homework ,chatted wif girls and now having fun blogging again ! yay !

btw , i just realized how comfortable can a teenage boy like me feel when i'm away from the so-called home away from home aka the boaarding school..it feels nice to be able to camp inside the toilet and have a long long warm shower before coming out reddish..lol
o y..not to forget how fun it is to read HOT magazine while having snacks or camping in the toilet..lol
not but least , the excitement when you sleep and dream freely without anyone waking u up like what i always experience every morning in the boarding school...every morning in the boarding school , i would always wake up with the magic spell cast by the hallmistress ..' Kenneth , WAKE UP !!!!' was familiar to my ears and i would wake up without knowing that i actually woke up...i know what i wrote just now was confusing but that was the power of diction to showcase the confusion which the author felt in the story he wrote..

well , i guess thats all for today..will write a special edition later....if im awake..lol
selamat tinggal semuanya !

-K-

l'histoire 3 : Yin Yang

annyong~

today ( to b precise ytd ) was the last day of school for term 3.. YAY ! !
well , that was what i would like to see if the teachers had not given us much homework...by much , i mean 10 pieces of work..who on earth would know how much was the initial amount of homework if i had not work myself like crazy..

anyways , ma'day was quite okay..
played b-ball during PE and as usual , got owned by the imbas..
tried to distract Fiona so that i could get those 'confidential' documents for Language Arts but failed to do so..
I mean , I tried pressing Ctrl + S and nothing popped out..wtf

well , tuition was quite....okay this time around..
my kid was behaving well and he did what was ordered..he got 15/20 for booklet one..yay !
however , i cant really get it that he was so happy that he scored 55 for PSLE prelims..

played badminton in the evening and for the first time in the year , i got so fired up when i played with two great players...my partner and I lost two straight sets but we were happy because we did not suck that bad...
talking abt badminton...my brother broke my racket T T
my baobei is gone..forever ! well , good thing i have a spare racket with no strings attached..lol
i suddenly remembered how i lost my racket last year in the plane because i forgot to take it out of the compartment..lol

afterwards , chatted wif my friends tilll 1 am.talked about mistresses , flabby girls , fights , and epic fail events..o yea , we did talk abt ghost stories ! my friend freaked out when he heard abt the story where two female ghosts were beckoning someone to come to them..shit , he kicked me and freaked me out !

well , we also talk abt girls , the roses and the rafflesias . When my friend told me abt one girl who banged his head twice to the blackboard and dumped him into a trash bin , i was horrified to know that the girl was no other than the girl which perpetrated Tragedy : Mango..if i can make a giant 0.o , trust me , i would make one !

well , thats all for today...would write abt other topic when i got time...

CIAOSU !

l'histoire 2 : Non-alchol hangover + Party ( réminiscence du passé )

Bonjour !

Woke up today at 1.50+ pm . I felt weird as I stare at the white ceiling while the fan kept on spinning in a slow yet uniform speed . My head was lighter than usual...Did I drank too much of vodka ytd ? LOL...where on earth would I get those favorable  drinks..So far , I only managed to buy a can of beer ( yes , i know its pathetic ) from Fairprice by putting up a bo-chap face which those old uncles at the kopitiam normally do .
I guess, I'm having a non-alcohol hangover..Is it because I played Battle Realms with Osaru till 5 am or issit a karma because I set up mines in a 1 v 1 battle with him ?

Anyways , I gotta feeling that today will end sweetly . Watched The Expendables and loved the quotes : ' Just your mother' and 'Your hairdresser.' ( y'll know when u watch it ) . Struggling with maths afterward before heading out for dinner...'What should I write today ?' was what I was thinking abt 5 secs ago and I decided to talk abt ASEAN Dance which I went to last Saturday ( screw the date..i forgot abt that ).

ASEAN Dance was like usual , hundreds of teens packed in a not-so-big gloomy room . Drank a lot of Coke because I did not know what to do . It was almost the same as last year , except the fact that the dance floor and the amount of food wasn't as big and as much as last year's . Spotted some angels dressed in colors but in the end , they all disappeared . I guess they were all scared by the coming of The Beast of ACS , Kosom ,who was renowned to have eaten 5 packs of instant noodle at a go . Well , at least one angel stayed behind till the end of party . She was a sweet angel in white and I cant believe that I kept looking at her for more than 10x that evening .She became the girl of my interest that party , the one and only for the night..

Well , the party sucked compared to last year's .As usual , the opening band sucked balls wif their lol-able vocalist . The best band for the night , to be honest , would be the band from my hostel as they did not screw up like any other bands . The duet from Oldham Hall wasnt bad either .What abt the location ? Big enough to hold a birthday party but not  big enough for us peeps to jam and jump . I felt like ikan bilis packed together rather than sardine .The organizer was very 'creative' as well to release too much dry ice. My friends and I , who were sitting at the corner , seemed like those drug addicts who smoked too much weed . Others might think that we were 'high' and that we have hallucinated flying to India due to smoking too much weeds...weeeeeeeeeeee

Anyways , the epitome of epicness in the party was the selection of the king and queen . There was this one gay-looking fella who was so self-centered that he did not bother posing with his female partner when they were asked to pose as a COUPLE . Well , the keyword is GAY ! In the end , thank goodness that that gay fella was not chosen as the king .The king looked way better than this fella and he got quite a unique name , Bank . Well , a bank is better than a gay , am I wrong ? 0.o

Talking about d queen ! The queen was hawt with her red gown..awesome !
The white angel also made it as a candidate for the queen and it is normal for her not to win the crown because she was an angel..get what i mean ?

Abt the songs..Too little slow songs and too many fast-tempo songs .People did not even bother to jump around and those who 'volunteered' to jump around were those alay(s) who tried to seek attention but failed to get some . There was a chance to ask the white angel to dance but my paiseh-ness got better of me...I suck !

At least , I got a chance to redeem all my fail-ness in the party thru cam-gigoloing wif my friends . Hell lots of pics man ! will share some later..hehe
Then , party was over , angel went home , and I kept nagging my friend to spill the beans . He told me her name and I immediately searched her account on FB when I got back . I tried typing all the names which sounded like hers and I found nothing..dang
However , it seems like I was blessed ! Just before i went to sleep , I rmb my friend telling me abt how she was good friends with her Thai dance partner . I searched for the guy ,skimmed thru his friend list and Voila !
did not add her because I felt satisfied knowing that an angel could access the internet and have a FB account..lol

then , the little boi who dreamed abt the angel went to sleep , smiling.. ( and he looked so cute..lol )

THE END

PICS TIME !!!

my homies and I

my homies and I

my homie

my homies and I

parteh : )

partai : )

partee : )

crazy dude :D ( Staff Loh )

Well , that's all from me..too lazy to save and upload more pics..

Photos are courtesy of Alvin 'Horny Bastard Jedi' Hadi..

Links to more photos :

-http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=82617&id=1208982671&ref=mf

-http://www.facebook.com/#!/album.php?aid=82627&id=1208982671&ref=mf

Will write abt International Night when Jedi's photos are up..Till then ! Ciao ( Ciao) !

Peace Out

 

-K-

PS : Chatbox is up..please chat wif moi or leave a message..hehe